Not a Good Way to Spark Romance
Certain flicks make great date movies. Whether you’re going for a classic like, “An Officer and a Gentleman,” a steamy one like, “50 Shades of Grey,” or want romantic holiday-themed fare such as, “Love, Actually.” There is a multitude of options for fantastic date movies, but some films should not be watched early on in a relationship at all. These 10 movies (in no specific order) may be great viewing in general but are awful if you want something sweet or mood-setting. Watch these if you’re expecting romance at your own peril.
10. Gone Girl
A husband (played by Ben Affleck) has his wife (Rosamund Pike) suddenly go missing. He behaves so erratically that he becomes a major suspect. However, it turns out the wife is actually pretty crazy and wants to set him up as a suspect because he’s not trying hard enough to be a good husband. For an example of how not to have your relationship go just look to the exchange where Affleck tells Pike, “Yes, I loved you and then all we did was resent each other, try to control each other. We caused each other pain!” and she responds, “That’s marriage.” Ouch.
9. Fatal Attraction
A married man (Michael Douglas) cheats on his wife with a one-night stand (Glenn Close) and then that affair comes back to haunt him and puts a whole lot of people in great danger. While you can’t fault Douglas’ character for being attracted to someone as beautiful as Close, that still doesn’t excuse his cheating. Then, the fact he cheated with a crazy person who puts everyone’s safety at risk drives home the point that cheating is just a bad idea.
“Psycho,” is the kind of movie that makes you rethink any possible romantic getaways. After all, what’s to stop the manager at the little hotel you stay at from (spoiler alert) murdering you while you shower and then turning out to also have a basically mummified mother he assumes the personality of? Yes, that sounds like a stretch, but the point stands how, “Psycho,” is more likely to get you and a date worried about parental complexes each other might have than enjoying each other’s company.
In, “Closer,” a bunch of people with supposedly happy relationships cheat on each other. They just cheat relentlessly and make each other miserable revealing how they’ve cheated and don’t love each other anymore. The cast is amazing with Clive Owen, Julia Roberts, Natalie Portman, and Jude Law (among others) absolutely wowing with their performances. That doesn’t undo the fact that, “Closer,” is basically a, “How to,” guide on screwing up relationships and romance.
6. Silence of the Lambs (or Hannibal)
One can observe there is a bit of a twisted and weird romance between Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling (in the books they actually became lovers). The movie, “Silence of the Lambs,” or its sequel, “Hannibal,” both make awful films to watch with your own potential lover, however. There just isn’t anything that romantic about having to work with one serial killer to catch another who wears people’s skin or being offered a piece of Ray Liotta’s brain to eat at dinner, to put it bluntly.
5. A Clockwork Orange
Between the extreme violence, moments of psychological torture, and a gruesome scene of rape, “A Clockwork Orange,” still manages to be one of the most controversial and hard-to-watch movies around. It’s some heavy stuff, and anything with the degree of sexual violence it has makes for an awful date flick.
4. Enduring Love
Two men meet through a tragic hot air balloon accident. One becomes obsessed with the other and eventually, things turn extremely bloody. You’d be forgiven for thinking that as the director of this movie—Roger Michell—also made the classic romantic comedy, “Notting Hill,” that something titled, “Enduring Love,” would be similar. You’d be incredibly wrong, though.
Jennifer Lopez plays a woman who marries the seemingly perfect man. However, it turns out he is incredibly abusive. Lopez actually ends up fighting back against her husband and some goons he hires in an impressive fashion, which makes this a great story of empowerment. It doesn’t make this a good date movie, however, as flicks showing abusive relationships are not a good way to get in the mood for romance.
2. The Ides of March
Ryan Gosling stars in this as the P.R. rep for a Presidential candidate played by George Clooney. Gosling is in some absurdly romantic movies and Clooney’s also a dreamboat, this must be decent for a date, yeah? Only if your idea of a good date night involves a political thriller focused on secret affairs with an intern and Gosling playing surprisingly against type as a really conniving character. At least in the incredibly visceral, “Drive,” which also stars Gosling, he’s arguably a good guy. Here, he’s just kind of deceitful.
An extremely controversial movie about teens, sex, HIV, and the general traumas we face growing up. If you’ve seen, “Kids,” you know it is a difficult watch and will leave you feeling incredibly depressed (even Rosario Dawson is awesome in it with her breakout role as the character Ruby). Stay far, far away from this movie on a date night unless you want to close the night out with a whole lot of awkward silence.
These are Still Great Flicks
These are all quality movies and without a doubt worth watching. If you’re on a date, however, it is probably better to just watch something else with the object of your affection.
David Bitterbaum is the longtime writer of The Newest Rant where he discusses how he loves all of popular culture, except for the stuff he hates. He often rambles about everything from movies, to music, television, and often comic-books. He lives in Saint Louis with his extremely patient wife and son.